28 Days Later Rip Off

Horrid (2009)

Directed By: James Pronath

Written By: Horse
Mondo Film & Video Guide Reviewer
IMDb.com Link

A young woman is running through the woods, chased by two men in gas masks. She falls and spits up blood. She meets a man and begs for help but catches a bullet in the head. Confirmation comes in over the radio to secure him as well (secure with a bullet). One gas mask guy wimps out, the other steps up and is shot by the wimp. He and the man run off through the woods to the man’s house. Music I’ve heard before plays, credits roll, and it all goes horribly wrong!

A few things the title Horrid accurately describes about this movie:

The acting: easily among the worst I’ve ever seen, and I’ve sat through thousands of B grade and below films.

The music: First it’s the Resident Evil theme, then 28 Days Later. I like both of those themes, but not over and over and not in something that feels so cheap.

The story: “Borrows” heavy from 28 Days Later and Cabin Fever, alternate title could’ve been 28 Days of Cabin Fever!

Outside of the titty bar looks like a small town hardware store or corner café.  In fairness, I was looking for the silver lining and it almost appeared. For a little bit near the end of the second act, start of turd, err ah third, this almost took on a House of the Dead feel. I started laughing at the horrid acting and thought, “man, this has a chance to reach that level”. Unfortunately it slid right back into uninspired, unwatchable shit.

I wanted to like it, seriously. When the bar in the middle of nowhere is called “House of Frank N Stein” and I hear a quote from American Psycho (“don’t just look at it, eat it”), I want to like it! When the strippers in the titty bar scene are plentiful and almost all natural, I want to like it. When cute girls keep getting topless, I want to like it! I just don’t and it won’t let me.

It might be worth a rent for a night of drinking games or home MST3K parties. Don’t even bother unless you plan to look for comedy or other things behind what the film is supposed to be. For a drinking game or joke, it’s got some legs. As a serious movie, it’s completely worthless. Horrid, it lives up to the title at least!

Sorry, but no fucking way am I sitting through this again to write about anything else. I’ve cleared my brain of most of it and got back those valuable IQ points I lost when I did sit through it. Rent it for a joke or stay far, far away!

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