French Fried Head Scratcher

Posted on Aug 11, 2010

The Secrets Of The Satin Blues (1981)

Directed By: Andre Genoves

Review Written By: Justin Bozung
Mondo Film & Video Guide Editor
IMDb.com Link

Sacré bleu!  This is a weird one.  The Secrets Of The Satin Blues is the tale of a pair of talking, YES, talking blue Satin women’s panties.   Only the french!   And even better, the panties sound just like Icelandic singer, Bjork, as the voice narrates das film.

The story here is simple.  It’s about Elodie, a beautiful aristocratic Sarah Douglas look a like (US actress, Marcha Grant), and her travels with the panties from lover to lover in the French art community.

Elodia is sleeping with a painter who is fed up with her, and doesn’t want her again until he can have her from behind, and I am NOT talking about doggy style. She’s sleeping with her best friend (lesbian’s baby!), her best friend’s son, her maid (lesbian’s again, BABY!),  and about 10 other people.  Oh yeah, and the lesbian maid is also sleeping with Elodie’s daughter, whose also sleeping with Elodie’s best friend’s son, whom Elodie has slept with too.  Confusing? Everyone is sleeping with everyone here. In a 90 minute film, Marcha Grant, spends about only 20 minutes with clothes on.    Not very enjoyable, except for the fact that Marcha Grant is stunning to look at.  And in theory really for me, she looks very similar to the great British actress, Sarah Douglas. So perhaps it’s the thought of Sarah Douglas that got me through this film.   So imagine Sarah Douglas from Superman II or Return Of Swamp Thing naked.    Know I’ve got your interest, don’t I?  By the way, there are 35 breasts in this film, I counted.

Marcha Grant at the time of filmming, was a New York born model that moved to France in the mid 60′s to do film work.  Her first film was Who Are You Polly Magoo (1966), directed by the terminally cool NY visual arteest, William Klein.  Somehow and someway, Grant is a direct descendant of US president Ulysses S Grant, and the silent film actress, Dorothy Lamour.

One enjoyable aspect of this film is it’s soundtrack. It’s very Serge Gainsborg.  Kinda funky, psychedelic breakbeat’d, with lots of 70′s electronic synth to top it all off.  Also, there is a wonderful Olivia Newton John disco song, that plays during all the lesbian scenes. This makes you wanna strip down, and shake your bon bon to the supersonic beat.   Ok, not really.  But it’s DOES make the film more enjoyable, if you do!

It’s available on DVD in the USA, so check it out, if you’re bored, and have all four limbs broken, and you’re stuck in a hospital bed.

Justin Bozung is the Editor of The Mondo Film & Video Guide.  You can contact him directly at justinb@mondo-video.com