Invisible Panty Raid

Posted on Aug 6, 2010

The Invisible Maniac (1990)

Directed By: Adam Rifkin

Review Written By: Horse

Mondo Film & Video Guide Contributor

IMDb.com

Not sure how I missed this one for so long. Thankfully I was reading a forum or blog a couple years back and someone mentioned Savannah in a pre-porn horror movie role. What? My favorite blonde ever, in my favorite genre (outside porn)? I have to see this! Off to Google, find torrent, download, burn to DVD, watched and loved it. This has Corman and Wynorski written all over it, even though neither is involved. What makes it so good? Read on.

Young Kevin Dornwinkle had all the best. An over-bearing psycho mother, a telescope and a sexy neighbor who would dance naked in front of open windows. One fateful night Kevin is on the scope but mom comes in and sees what he is up to. Mom doesn’t like what she sees next door, but does offer such encouraging words of wisdom as “women are evil”, “you make me sick” and “you’re acting like a sexually depraved vagrant from the street”. This kid’s going places!

20 years later: Dornwinkle has gone somewhere, he’s a fucking physicist! But all is not well; his theories are the laughing stock of the physics community. His big break arrives, a conference to demonstrate his new theory: molecular reorganization: the realignment of atomic particles (damn I sound smart right now!). He fails ultimately and his colleagues offer more encouragement like “you’re a disgrace to the scientific community” and “the stupidest man I’ve ever seen” while laughing him off the stage. He finally jumps over the table and strangles one scientist. Three more fall before Dornwinkle is done attacking and killing. He escapes the death penalty by reason of insanity, and escapes the mental institution as the front door is left open. Barking dogs chase him but are easily dispatched with a stick and the word “fetch”. It hurt laughing at this scene; after dispatching the dog, he stands and laughs on top of a hill in view of the institution he just ran from. Not one other person even seen looking out the window for him. Good fucking security yo!

This is where it starts to get fun, since the first act or half of this film does drag ass. There are some laughs and a few tits in the early parts, but the second half is gold! Under the new name Kevin Smith (how fucking original) he’s the new summer school physics teacher at some fucking school I missed the name of (or wasn’t given).

Here he meets the students, including Vicky (soon to be porn-star Savannah, credited as Shannon Wisley, with her original breasts) who seems to catch Dornwinkle’s eye. This is the class that would’ve made school fun. The girls are all hot sluts and the dudes are all stupid jag offs. Melissa Moore, Gail Lyon, Debra Lamb and Kalei Shallabarger offer up the rest of the eye candy – I guess they are a cheerleader squad since they practice, then shower, then go to class, then shower. Now, and pardon me if I get off track a bit here, but in every level of school I hated nothing more than school showers. The creepy gym teacher and constant shit I got in middle school didn’t help, and I would much rather smell like death than stand naked next to some fucking asshole I would rather kill. Maybe if I was a girl it would’ve been different? These girls always shower together, and giggle and wash each others backs, but they still seem to want the cock as well. God bless em!

Well, during one of these 4-5 on screen showers, Dornwinkle is caught by sexy principal Cello. He bullshits his way out of it while she hits on his oblivious ass. This is just before finally cracking the invisible serum by “isolating the isotope, creating a unity of matter and space and replacing HS3 with barilla in its true grain form”. Duh!

Success and a reason for the title! He tries this out by going over to student April’s (Gail Lyon) house and peeling off her blanket and nightgown. Not sure if he wrestled the one-eyed trouser snake or not. A side note, when he takes the serum, not only does he disappear, but so do his clothes, glasses, watch and anything on touching him. Not sure how this works (I’m guessing budget) but even his blood is visible when he’s hit hard enough to bleed while invisible. Love that “invisible juice”!

Now is where he should be getting his pimp on, but thanks to his fucked upbringing, he’s just a jerk when not killing. Sexy Savannah needs an A and gives him the whole “I’ll do anything” spew. Mrs. Cello (Stella Blalack) calls him to her office and macks hard on him. This part killed me and here comes the reference. She sounds exactly like Julianne Moore in the first faux porn movie part of Boogie Nights, same voice level, diction, cadence, same everything (but much better tits!). I kept waiting to hear “but first let me check one thing: like I thought, this is a gaint cock”. Thanks to mom, instead of grabbing and sucking her awesome tits, he kills her. Now it’s hinted at that a side effect of the serum is horniness, so why doesn’t he take advantage of this? Sexy women beg him for dick and he still won’t even attempt to kiss one, he just kills em. Stupid!

The students might’ve been all right, but they just have to play a series of pranks on the poor guy. First, the insane synchronized book drop at 10:30! While seeming like the dumbest prank I’ve ever seen, it worked very well in pushing Dornwinkle further over the edge. The old bucket of water over the door seals it, and Dornwinkle seals the school. Funtime! Taking another dose of the serum (maybe the same “invisible juice” Willie Beaman mentioned in Any Given Sunday) only lasts 10 minutes, during which he finds Bubba and Betty (Debra Lamb) making out in the cafeteria. He forces Bubba to choke himself on a sub while Betty stands there and screams. Finally she runs, but is taken down with a fire hose, only after getting stripped topless by the horny killer. Guess he’s just a tit-man voyeur, as he removes tops constantly.

To not give away everything, I’ll just say the remaining students have their work cut out for them in order to survive class today. Most won’t, some will be electrocuted in the shower, some will drown in fish tanks, some will just curl up by a door and cry before getting choked to death. The end fight is something though, as the last remaining student finds Dornwinkle at home and they both end up taking a needle, leading to an invisible fight that makes little to no sense. They seem to keep hitting each other plenty, but also keep saying “where are you”. One body ends up on the business end of Dornwinkle’s shotgun and headless. Survivor revealed, cue music, the end.

All in all this flick is way more fun than it should be. With more nudity than your average Wynorski flick (I really thought he directed this before looking at the credits), a solid performance by Noel Peters (he goes way overboard at times, but mostly is controlled and believable. Also, I will coin him a poor man’s John C. McGinley as he looks a lot like him from certain angles) and Savannah’s original breasts, it’s a winna! Unfortunately not on DVD in any region except custom (if you burn your own like me) or bootleg (pay someone else to burn a custom) and even VHS seems rare, this a fun flick well worth tracking down. It’s not hard to find online, I’m a member of no groups and found it on the first search. If you can’t get one good laugh or tingle out of this film, go see a doctor!