Nude Kickboxing

Posted on Aug 5, 2010

ANGEL-FIST (1993)

Directed By: Cirio H. Santiago

Review Written By: Horse
Mondo Film & Video Guide Contributor
IMDb.com Link

I wasn’t sure why I was asked for this review specifically. Martial Arts is not my area of expertise, although I did grow up watching Kung Fu theater like any other 70’s/80’s kid, which would have  my entire school talking with fake overdubs and screaming “hi-Yaaah” the next day. So basically, I’ve seen tons of Kung-Fu movies but can’t remember much about any individual one. My love for Kung-Fu kind of waned as I found Heavy Metal, Horror, Nintendo and soon thereafter, Porno! My real favorite genres had exposed themselves and I wasn’t looking back.

This is much easier to remember. Sadly no “hi-yahhh’s” or bad dubbing, but instead we get titties! I won’t soon forget Cat Sassoon in just a pair of red panties kicking the shit out of 3 terrorists, but sadly won’t recall much else. While there’s not much original to this film (one scene reminded me so much of the opening of Predator 2 I had to check production dates, I’ll keep it nice and say it was probably influenced. Asshole Horse, who’s not in the building yet today, would say, ripped-off.) it still is very enjoyable.

During the “Kubate International Women’s World Karate Tournament”, a terrorist group known as “The Black Brigade” murders American Col. Rappaport. This all happens under the camera lens of tournament fighter/FBI spy Kristie Lang. Kristie gives the film to a cab driver to take to a stripper, one of few people who can be trusted in the Philippines. Good thing, as Kristie is attacked as soon as she gets home. She fights well, but succumbs and dies, setting up the whole plot.

She has a sister in Los Angles, but not just any sister. This is the sister I wished I had when I was getting bullied in elementary school. This is where my Predator 2 “influence” comes in. Cops are shooting it out with a gang. Two cops get hit; they are trapped, outgunned and rightfully fucked. Kat shows up (is it Cat or Kat, cover says C, credits say K?) and goes all Danny Glover, single-handedly busting in and fucking up all the bad guys. I kept expecting to see Henry Kingi in a close-up saying “El Scorpio ess reddy” and a Predator jump through the roof.

So with the news of her sister’s death, guess what Kat does? Gets revenge of course! At first denied entry into the tourney already in progress, she ends up fighting last year’s champ Bontoc for entry. This goes well and she’s in, even made a new enemy! This is followed by a shower scene, then the post shower fight in red panties which is the highlight of everything for me. Oh yeah, along the way she meets a dude who calls himself “Alcatraz”, who helps and lusts after her. We never see exactly where Kat breaks down, but soon they are kissing and loving each other after Kat’s major bitchiness to begin their relationship.

Speaking of shower scenes, there are plenty just scattered throughout the film with no real rhyme or reason. I’m not bitching; I found it both amusing and cool. I have a confession to make, and some may find this hard to swallow, but I love titties! I’m pretty sure my love of horror film started with nude scenes and me noticing more breasts per hour in horror than anything else outside retarded sex-comedies (and many sex-comedies lied on the box covers and cheated around the tit).

There wasn’t really as much or many fighting scenes as there probably should be. The tourney breezes by in montages of quick kick here, back hand there and we’re down to 2, Kat and BonToc!

I have to end now as I always wanted to kill reviewers who gave away too much of the ending, and I like myself today and would hate to have to beat or kill me. A great fight scene with secondary character Lorda (is she a terrorist or fed? Watch and find out!) jumps out of my notes begging to be mentioned. There, I mentioned it. Great because of titties (and nicer titties at that. Kat isn’t bad, but hers are so fake looking. Melissa Moore’s are real and prettier) as well as decent action.

All in all an enjoyable film experience. Recommended to fans of Corman or martial arts, although the fighting may fall well short for hard-core Kung-Fu action fans.

Oh yeah, one thing I forgot to mention but is important enough to revise. The Black Brigade will eventually win for one simple reason. They kill, or at least attempt to kill, their enemies and/or opponents. Cat and the other “good guys” only fight and knock out theirs. This means in a few minutes or hours, they’re back up and attacking again when they could be done for good. Just not a good strategy in my opinion. Why fight some fucker 5 to 10 times when you could be done after one? This is why the Brigade will win in the long run.

Horse is the newest contributor to the Mondo Film & Video Guide.   For more information on Horse, please visit the Mondo “About Us” section.