Phantasm

March 14, 2010 by Editor
Filed under Film Reviews

Phantasm (1979)
Written & Directed By: Don Coscarelli

Written By: Justin Bozung
Mondo Film & Video Guide Co-Founder

Just sittin here at Midnight….

Ok, let’s try this….Here is my script’d re-creation of Don Coscarelli’s pitch meeting to get the money to make his third feature film, Phantasm (1979).

Don Coscarelli –
Phantasm is the story of a rock star who comes home to take care of his little bother, once their parents die. His little brother one day while riding his dirt bike in a cemetery discovers the local mortuary undertaker, a tall man, who looks similiar to Marlon Brando in the 1972 Bernardo Bertolucci film, The Last Tango In Paris, but creepy. Give Me The Butter….Boy!!!! He steals the bodies and coffins out of the ground, the minute after the funeral is over! And he goes around saying “BOY!” all the time, and raising his right eyebrow, while closing his left eye! He takes the bodies and re-animates them, AFTER he’s shrunk the bodies down to the size of Billy Barty, he sends them to his home planet, through a transporter that’s more or less a tuning fork hidden on planet earth! Once they arrive there, they become slaves, and the ones that stay here, become the Tall Man’s minions and carry out his deeds.

Money Man –
you have my attention..go on….

Don Coscarelli -
Wait for it…So then the rock stars best friend, who’s a ice cream vendor, teams up with the brothers to investigate the strange mortuary, the tall man, the bodies disappearing, and oh yeah… the midgets, in Jawa hoodies. And some cool badass weird silver balls / sphere’s that fly through the air, in a heat seeking / motion detection fashion, attacking people, killing and drilling out their brains. The film will be this elaborate dream where the end viewer won’t know where reality and dream pick up or leave off. And lastly, we are gonna destroy a smokin’ bad ass jet black 1971 Hemi ‘cuda, and car collectors and fanatics all over the world are gonna hate my guts for it for years to come! But there’s more….

Money Man –
Interesting, but I think we’ll pass…

Phantasm doesn’t look good, or make any sense at all whatsoever on paper. But once filmed, has become one of the most important, influential, strangest and fuckin coolest horror films ever made in the history of the movies. It’s the strangest, most off the wall concept, that JUST works, and it pays off BIG time. It’s scary as hell! Angus Scrimm as the Tall Man, scared the shit out me as a kid. I couldn’t look in a mirror, I couldn’t buy ice cream from a truck on the street, I couldn’t walk or ride past a cemetary on bike, and lastly, I was scared spineless of bird gazing globes! You aint goona be drilling out my brain, and shrinking me down to a midget bitch! The Tall Man is easily one of the most important, and significant horror icons creatued since the Universal Monsters came about. Let it be agreed, apon, that after the Universal Monsters, the next revolution in monster characters where creations became iconic, clearly came in the 80′s with Jason, Freddy, Micheal Myers, The Tall Man, Leatherface, and Pinhead. Phantasm was made at what is essentially the perfect time..

Phantasm spawned 3 sequels, and ALL are just as completely zany and crazy sexy cool as this first one. I’ve seen all 4 Phantasm films several dozens of times, and they are all just completely brilliant, and as you progress on, Coscarelli does a outstanding job of sharing and explaining his mythos of the Phantasm story. The principal cast returns every time movie after movie. All four films are written and directed by Coscarelli. It’s probably the only horror movie franchise in history where, of the four movies, all are essential viewing and damn near perfect. All the Phantasm films played in theatre’s at some point, with the exception of the final, Phantasm IV: Oblivion. There have been several rumors going around the internet for years about a lost script reading session that was videotaped where all the original cast was filmed reading a Coscarelli screenplay for a new Phantasm part 5. We can only pray for that one soon, as most the cast are getting older, including The Tall Man, Angus Scrimm. He’s about 112 years old. And if he where to pass away, a new Phantasm film just wouldn’t work without him. I don’t care what you say, Boy!!!! Coscarelli has always made great films throughout his career, and I’ll even go on record, and say, that Don Coscarelli’s film, 1982′s The Beastmaster is a favorite as well. You know when you die you don’t go to heaven, you come to us! That’s fine with me….

Justin Bozung is the co-founder of the Mondo Film & Video Guide. You can email him directly at justinb@mondo-video.com