The Worst Comic Book Movies – October 2010

The Worst Comic Book Movies – October 2010

Catwomen (2004)

Written By: Spazzy
Mondo Film & Video Guide

Is it really that difficult to make a comic book-based movie faithful to the titular character?  Batman has done it, so has Spider-Man and Iron Man, too!  So what happened here? This atrocity *actually *made it into theaters.  I’ve read fanfic movies better than this garbage. You better believe this angry fangirl is talking about the movie that is the bane of her existence:  Catwoman.

I’m not quite sure which is worse, the fact that this movie pretty much took a massive bowel movement on a beloved character’s name or that Halle Barry stated she would do a sequel.  Though when her movie was nominated for seven Golden Razzies, but then later won in the categories of Worst Picture, Actress, Director, and Screenplay, she had second thoughts. It’s ironic how she has hatred for the movie now, because when it was soon to be released, she praised how she loved the way playing Catwoman made her feel. I remember being so upset because of how the movie looked from the horrible trailer, especially the ridiculous mouse-looking outfit. And to top it all off she was actually acting like a cat in a crazy, cracked-out way. Plus, her real name was Patience Phillips. What the hell is with that?

Lame cat jokes, bad acting, horrid clothing and an uber-disappointment around, this movie can be enjoyable in the fact that Pitof, the director, hasn’t had the opportunity to screw up another icon in comicdom.  You can’t help but feel bad for the people that actually went to the theater to see this, much less the ones that helped make it. The movie’s low budget obviously contributed to the poor special effects, bad camera angles, and cheesy dialog. I also remember hearing that Benjamin Bratt did not want any part of the movie until he found out that Halle Berry would be the main character.

Something else that is just complete and utter BLAARGH! is the fact that Halle had already been in two previous comic book-based movies as Storm from the X-Men.  I believe actors/actress’s shouldn’t be able to play multiple superheroes/heroines since I feel it takes you out of the experience. Ryan Reynolds and Chris Evans, I’m looking at you.   But I digress.

This movie could have been *so *much more.  In multiple conversations I’ve had regarding this subject matter, people ask what could have been done instead?  An actual Selina Kyle/Catwoman story wouldn’t have been so hard to do.  I mean, she has had her own comic series several times, so the source material was RIGHT THERE.   I can think of three stories that would have worked on the top of my head. For example, you can have her origin story :  of her growing up on the streets, then joins a dojo with the Armless Master where she also meets Kai, the top student.  When she shows more potential, they form a mutual hatred for each other. Skip around a bit and years later, she sees the shadow of Batman and then dons her Catwoman suit.

She decides to steal a Bast statue, but comes in contact with Hellhound that turns out that is Kai! (but you knew that right?)  How hard would that have been? I mean really. Throw in some fight scenes, and BAM, a big hit right? Far better than fighting against Sharon Stone, a corporate goon who used to be a model and now has hard skin thanks to multiple uses of face cream. I guess they were going for a Clayface-like villain, but just got lazy.

Sometimes, writers need to do research and see what great source material is out there before trying to twist and mutate an already good character.  The only thing that is enjoyable is one of the DVD extras, “The Many Faces of Catwoman”.  It is hosted by one of my favorite Catwoman actresses, Eartha Kitt, and has many surprise guests that talk about the history of Catwoman. Sadly, this thirty minute feature is the only good thing about the DVD.  Damn this movie

Spazzy is one of the most recent contributor to the Mondo Film & Video Guide.  For more information please visit the Mondo “About Us”  section.

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