Zombie Exercise

Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout (1990)

Directed By: Kenneth J Hall

Review Written By: Amish Zombie
Mondo Film & Video Guide Contributor
IMDb.com Link

I’ve been hearing about this famed “workout” of sorts for years and it came in the mail with unparalleled amounts of curiosity. Could it really be a horror themed workout tape?!  I’ve seen disclaimers saying it came with violence and nudity which brings my question. “What kind of workout is this?!” I recently and finally got a copy of it via a bootlegger as actual copies are few and far between and I was reluctant at the very least to shell out the dollars and time to track one down.

After pressing play I was in for a treat.  Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout is far more than a typical workout video. It starts off with Linnea showering and why not?  Lets throw some nudity in there right off the bat, during the opening credits! Linnea then proceeds to “warm up” doing some stretches and exercises in a skimpy and sexy metal studded bra and classic 80’s pantyhose, panties combo. The warm up routinee is juxtaposed with  highlight clips from her various movies that play out almost like a greatest hits of this self proclaimed scream queen great. Linnea’s great, but claiming to be the best can be argued…

The selection of clips is fantastic.  Mine eyes where pleasured to see snippets from Return of the Living Dead, Night of the Demons, Creepazoids, Sorority Babes in the Slime-Ball Bowl-A-Rama, and Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, just to name a few.  Then, she’s done ‘warming up,” so she goes for a job, only to meet and be chased by a horde of zombies. Linnea then herds the zombies into doing choreographed exercise activities, which is just hilarious! All the while her boobs keeps popping out of her top, the sequence ends with a zombie filled pool party, and why not?!

Moving on, to a slumber party set up with Linnea and her nearest and dearest I’m guessing? They banter back and forth with chit chat.  There isn’t much exercising going down! I don’t know about you, but when I sleepover at a person’s  house I always make sure to get plenty of exercise in. This is where the video takes a surprising turn! Linnea’s friends start to get killed by someone in a Richard Nixon mask and no, it’s not Patrick Swayze from Point Break. I can’t give away this ever so shocking ending, but something tells me you’ll be able to guess who’s behind the mask.  Linnea’s friends do have a great rack after all!  So, the universal truth?   Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout is a lot of fun for what it is. Coming in at an hour I enjoyed it!  Zombies, boobs, exercising and a murderous Richard Nixon, what else can a guy ask for?  If you can find this amongst bootleggers or on official VHS ( the film can also be purchased on Linnea’s official website) then I’d definitely recommend it.  It’s one of those video’s that will always produce a great conversation, and it’s actually entertaining! Will it get you into tip top shape? Hell no!  But you’ll get a strong forearm from all the Linnea boobage!

Amish Zombie is the Co-Founder of the Don’t Bite My Arm Vlog.  He’s also a contributor here at the Mondo Film & Video Guide. You can email him directly at @amishzombie@mondo-video.com

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